“When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
…Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be.” Beatles, (1970,Written by Lennon, McCartney, Apple;
Capitol) (McCartney revealed that at a time of
difficulty, his deceased mother, Mary, came to him in a
dream to say that everything would be OK)
As I make my way on the path of compassion which includes forgiveness of self (and others, of course), I’m reminded that – and we all know this intimately – when I let go of something that doesn’t work for me (it could be negative thoughts, bodily weight, material goods, a relationship) it is fraught with discomfort.
How do we get to this place of having to let it be? It can begin when we deny a truth (a feeling, memory, a perspective of a situation, etc.). This reality is hurtful; and we want to avoid thinking about it. We choose to ‘escape’ through a number of strategies: emotional eating (we gain weight), abstaining from eating (we lose weight), shopping (we have debt), we remain in a relationship that doesn’t serve us (our self-esteem suffers), drinking/drugging) our health suffers, etc.
When we let go of these distractions, we come back to the truth. At this point, we are aware of heart speak. Here, we revisit the original feelings (because the diversion is no longer in play), which pop up in our heart, begging to be dealt with, and healed. In fact, with all this enlightenment energy flowing onto the planet, we are pushed into confusion, as this light clashes with our hidden truths. In chaos, we have an opportunity to grow, to heal (our spiritual guides are whispering: “We’ve got work to do. Let’s go;”). If we resist, we fester in dis-order. This is the bumpy road to getting back to the heart again.
I’ve had experiences where I’ve overridden my center, and this is where I’ve caused myself pain. Let me share an example. A few years ago, a group approached me, promising to market a video of my work which I would write especially for their website. I was really flattered that they asked me. And, after making the time for this labor-intensive endeavor, I proceeded over long hours, seven days a week, writing and working with two videographers, turning down social invitations; having no fun. In my heart, I knew something didn’t feel right. I remember thinking that I could produce and market my own video; that I didn’t need someone else whose contract details didn’t sit right with me. But, at this time I was afraid to take charge. Ignoring this self-truth, I proceeded until I exhausted myself. Eventually, I stepped back for a few months, rested, meditated, ate well; assessed my strengths and organized my goals.
In a rested state, I revisited the fear, and let it go. There was a surrendering to what I knew is my truth – the heart always knows — getting me to a deeper understanding of myself. I would take charge of this production at the appropriate time. I viewed this situation without drama, from a quiet, clear place. I could accomplish this. I would consult with a specialist for what I didn’t know. I had to stretch…to take a leap of faith. This, together with hard work, led me to delay the video. There were other platforms to be developed prior to the moving image, hence the blog and my e-book (which I discuss below).
Looking back on this situation, I realize that I had to push through my worry of not being able to produce and promote a video of my work. Apprehension gives way when we plow through it with courage and determination. I worked on my pockets of fear to realize what I could and could not handle myself. I hired an assistant to support my talents. Importantly, I had to look at the dread squarely in the face to separate what was possible for me to accomplish, and what I needed help with. (I was doing the emotional work.) During my resting period, I looked for, and incorporated fun, balance, support. Seven months later, I met Oscar, my assistant and social-media advisor.
I haven’t yet used the two videos, which I hurriedly filmed. But the process of failing and reaching a new low taught me to balance my creativity and aspirations. My blog (LindaMarsanico.com) was launched in January 2013. My free e-book, which incudes my first year of blogs: “Compassion In My Own Words” was published in June 2014 on Smashwords.com I am thinking about a new video which I will co-produce, in due time.
Currently, I tweak my work schedule, which must be balanced with fun, and meditation. My creativity flourishes when there is a smile on my face!
Speak to you on July 21st.
Linda
