Heart Key by bandrat www.freedigitalphotos.net
If you answered yes to all of these three items, we are on the same page! Let’s leave the keys out of the discussion…
Assertion and self-love are important skills. I don’t want to leave home or even be home in the absence of these abilities, which protect my heart, allow me to choose sagely and speak my truth…
Assertion is getting my needs met while respecting the rights of others.
Self-love is accepting and knowing myself, having regard for my well-being and happiness. Assertion and self-love are coupled in choosing love over fear: when we know and love ourselves we tend to present ourselves in a way that matches the internal feeling.
In the home, so to speak, I have my internal dialog, my private thoughts, which prepare me to make decisions. Let me choose wisely – the people and situations – which enhance my experience. This positive experience can become a habit, and with repeated work, develop into our usual behavioral response.
Assertion is connected to choosing love – over fear – in the way I speak to myself.
If I am self-loving, am I going to make decisions reflecting this confident feeling? Likely…yes.
If I am fearful, am I going to make decisions reflecting trepidation? Likely…yes. Even though this limits my options? YES. How can I move away from this?
Creating options is a very good way to explore self-love. Giving yourself this experience can bring a sense of joy…
I will present two choices, which illustrate this concept:
CHOOSING FROM LOVE/ASSERTION:
I need a service. I’ve done my research and this company has a solid resume. The representatives are professional, reliable. They return my phone calls.
I will have to travel to a nearby city to take advantage of their service. Don’t know how to get there, but I’ll take the risk and plan to make the trip. I’ll get a schedule from the train station.
This option is assertive because I get my needs met by choosing a first-rate collaborator, loving myself enough to choose the best talent.
CHOOSING FROM FEAR:
I have worked with this company before. They provide the same service as the above company yet I have not been happy with their work. They haven’t followed through with their promises and I can’t get them on the telephone.
I’ll continue to work with them because I know them and they are conveniently located. Maybe they’ll change.
Here, it is likely that my needs will not be met. My experience tells me that the quality may be lacking. I have been quite disappointed with this company, yet I am reluctant to search for a better service. Fear has me choose unwisely. I’m not taking care of myself.
I emphasize choosing love and assertion in the decisions we make because small decisions add up…and affect the quality of our life. There are opportunities to choose assertion in our internal dialog and in our interactions with others.
Love for our self grows, in part, from speaking our truth internally, in private dialog, and externally with others. This is an important muscle to develop. Think of it as training each day – as you would at the gym – repeating the action to gain stamina and strength…Have a good work out!
I will be cooking and celebrating Thanksgiving with my family, and so I will speak with you in three weeks – on December 7.